I ate a ton of crappy hummus to create this winner

Is that like kissing a lot of frogs before finding your prince?  A lot of garlicky garbanzo bean frogs.

I've been trying to make hummus at home for years.  I've never really gotten it right, and Troy and I have choked down some gross spread during my search for a great recipe.

I checked out Homemade Pantry from the library last month, and I've already renewed it twice.  I've made a ton of great things from it, and will be sad when I finally have to return it.

One of the recipes in there was hummus that the author's friend makes.  I decided to give it a shot and promised myself that I would follow the recipe to a "t".  That was a promise I quickly broke as I struck out on my own.  The recipe below is mine, but it was inspired by Homemade Pantry.  I will forever be grateful to Alana for finally nudging me in the right direction.

Oh Hell I Finally Figured it Out Hummus
1/2 lb of dried garbanzo beans (also called chick peas), or 2 cans
5 (yep, 5) cloves of garlic
Juice of 1 lemon
1 tsp kosher salt
3 tblsp olive oil
1/8 tsp of smoked paprika*, plus more for sprinkling on top
1/8 tsp of sumac**, plus more for sprinkling on top
1/4 cup of tahini***
Sesame seeds
Dried parsley

1) (If using dried beans) In a mixing bowl, place dried beans and cover with 4 inches of water.   Let soak overnight.  Drain the liquid and add the soaked beans to a crockpot.  Cover with 3 inches of water and cook on low for 8 hours.  After cooking, drain the excess liquid, reserving it.

(If using canned beans) Open the can genius.  Drain.  Reserve the liquid.

2) In a food processor, add the beans, tahini, garlic, lemon juice, and salt, and blend.  After a minute or so, drizzle the olive oil in with the machine is still going.  Add a bit of the reserved liquid if needed.

3) Once the hummus is super smooth stop the machine and add the smoked paprika and sumac, and pulse a few times.

4) Store extras in a mason jar, but it's very important that you immediately put some in a bowl, sprinkle sesame seeds, parsley, more smoked paprika, and a tiny bit of sumac on top, and then make an ass of yourself while you devour it.

Step 4 is the most important.

*I buy smoked paprika at Costco, and if you don't have a Costco or access to smoked paprika, I weep for you.  Seriously, it's the best.  I get a year's worth at Costco for $4.  You NEED this.

**If you found yourself saying "what the fuck is sumac", you're not alone.  I said that the first time someone recommended this spice to me for hummus.  You can't find it in a normal store.  You need to drive to a fancy pants store where soccer moms are driving their 1 kid around in a Ford Expedition and drinking a "Venti sugar-free skinny latte with extra room for Splenda".  THOSE are the stores where you can find Sumac.  If you're in the Puget Sound area, head to Central Market (it's a huge trip for me, but I go every few months because it's worth it!) and they have it in the bulk spice section.

I think it's a Middle Eastern spice, so if you have an ethnic grocery store, try there!

If you can't find it, dial up the smoked paprika a bit, and put a pinch of cayenne pepper in instead of the sumac.

***Tahini can usually be found near peanut butter in the grocery store.  It's stupidly expensive, but the $6 jar will easily last about 12 batches of hummus.